Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Mommy Wars

A few months ago as the board of directors were tossing around the idea of a Mom2Mom blog, we unanimously decided to write our first post about mommy wars. What better way to engage with the community than by addressing a universal challenge we all have faced? Well, a few of the board members, including myself, have sat down to write that post and each of us have come up blank! None of us have been able to put together the right collection of words to express how we feel.
The inability to write about mommy wars from the perspective of a Mom2Mom member is not due to a lack of experience with this thing. Tell me who can become a mother and wholly escape it? I think our silence comes instead from a desire to stay clear of the competition and judgement that define this "war". In Mom2Mom we have a hugely diverse community of women and families. Some of us are active duty, some work part time, and others stay at home. Some of us have breastfed for days and others years. Some of us pump, some supplement, others sns feed, and some tandem nurse! What makes our community rich, vibrant, and unique is this very set of differences. And I believe that it is through these differences that we are able to help each other see the other side of issues and pull through our toughest challenges.
I hate to sound trite or aggressively sing the virtues of Mom2Mom but the fact of the matter is that I am so proud of this community and it's members. Breastfeeding is an inherently hot topic but in our Facebook group and at our Breastfeeding Cafe discussions there is rarely a hostile moment. It seems that there is a breastfeeding paradise of knowledge and experience right here in the KMC and we are all invited to take part!
So instead of writing about how much mommy wars frustrate me or how it's ruining my life, I'd like to take this post in a different direction. I'd like to invite you - our members, readers, and supporters - to tell us one thing you've learned from another mother. Please leave us a comment below with your story and perhaps you will inspire someone else today!
Thanks for reading and boob on!

Written by Lauren Foley
Community Outreach Director


  1. When my oldest was born, a co-worker visited me in the hospital and brought me a basket of goodies. Simple things, what you needed before the wireless age, and some sweets. I was surprised and thanked her for her thoughtfulness, but she said not to worry about it…"It's what we do in the military. Someone did it for me, I'm just paying it forward." This memory still keeps me going today, when I sit late at night chatting with a mom, or doing admin work. It's what we do, help each other, and pay it forward.

  2. I have read other mom's post and appreciated that I can breastfeed my daughter. But I have also read posts and not felt so alone in my struggle to supply her with enough. I love that I can do this beautiful thing for my baby but it's not easy. We have no issues when she is with me. But my breast pump just can't get enough milk for her. I'm at the crossroads where I need to decide how to provide enough milk for my baby at daycare. I love having somewhere to turn to for advice. I have learned that not everyone will like how I raise my daughter and I'm okay with that. Mom2Mom has given me the confidence to breastfeed my daughter whenever/wherever she needs it and to not be embarrassed or feel like I need to hide in a corner.